An Old Farmer's Advice

My daughter just sent this to me. I hope you enjoy it.
hugs, Brandi

AN OLD FARMERS ADVICE:

-Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
-Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
-Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
-A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
-Words that soak into your ears are whispered.... not yelled.
-Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
-Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
-Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
-It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
-You cannot unsay a cruel word.
-Every path has a few puddles.
-Whe you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
-The best sermons are lived, not preached.
-Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
-Don't judge folks by their relatives.
-Remeber that silence is sometimes the best answer.
-Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
-Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
-Timing has a lont to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
-Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
-The biggest troublemaker you'll probably have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
-Always drink upstream from the herd.
-Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
-Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier tahn puttin' it back in.
-If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Thanks Brandi- Jay

That's a great collection, Brandi. Kinda like the philosophy in Poor Richard's Almanac. Some I've seen in sig lines on Usenet and some are new to me, but I can generally relate to all of 'em. Here's a few more I've come across at one time or another:

-If you try to chase two rabbits you end up losing both.
-Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
-Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.
-Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
-The early bird gets the worm, but it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.
-An honest man doesn't need a long memory.
-Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Amateurs made the Ark, professionals made the Titanic.
-Its amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing.

I've accumulated these over the last couple of decades, since at least the bulletin board days. If you don't mind I'd like to add yours to the list.

Thanks for sharing these with us.

Ted

PS - one last one -
-I bought a tape called "Subliminal Advertising". The next day I bought 47 more.