How are your computer skills?

Nicahawk · Feb 7, 2008

Ya gotta love it.....This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Enjoy!

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Tech support:

What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

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Customer:

Hi, this is Celine . I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support:

Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer:

Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support:

That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer:

No
, wait a minute.. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

===============

Tech support:

Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer:

Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support:

Good day How may I help you?

Male customer:

Hello... I can't print.

Tech support:

Would you click on 'start' for me and...

Customer:

Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

===============

Customer:

Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

============== =

Customer:

I have problems printing in red..

Tech support:

Do you have a color printer?

Customer:

Aaaah.....................thank you.

===============

Tech support:

What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer:

A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

===============

Customer:

My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support:

Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer:

No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support:

Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer:

! OK

Tech support:

Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support:

That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer:

Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...

===============

Tech support:

Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.

Customer:

Is that 7 in capital letters?

== =============

Customer:

can't get on the Internet.

Tech support:

Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer:

Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support:

Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer:

Five stars.

===============

Tech support:

What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer:

Netscape.

Tech support:

That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer:

Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

============== =

Customer:

I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support:

How may I help you?

Customer:

I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support:

OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer:

Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:

Are you running it under windows?

Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

===============

And last but not leas! t...

Tech support:

'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer:

I don't have a P.

Tech support:

On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:

What do you mean?

Tech support:

'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:

I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

=it....

PaulChristenson · Feb 8, 2008

Send me a copy of your disk...

This was back in the era of the 5 1/4 inch floppies...so I'm dating myself a bit...

User was having a problem with one of our distributed programs...so technical support tells the user to make a copy of the diskette and send it to development, so that we could research the problem...

The envelope show up and upon opening it...what did my programmer find??

A Xerox copy of BOTH sides of the diskette!!!!

Nicahawk · Feb 8, 2008

PaulChristenson said:
This was back in the era of the 5 1/4 inch floppies...so I'm dating myself a bit...

User was having a problem with one of our distributed programs...so technical support tells the user to make a copy of the diskette and send it to development, so that we could research the problem...

The envelope show up and upon opening it...what did my programmer find??

A Xerox copy of BOTH sides of the diskette!!!!

Paul, I remember the old floppy days well. It's amazing how far computer technology has come since I first turned one on.

xPosTech · Feb 8, 2008

PaulChristenson said:
This was back in the era of the 5 1/4 inch floppies...so I'm dating myself a bit...

Nicahawk said:
Paul, I remember the old floppy days well. It's amazing how far computer technology has come since I first turned one on.

Wait till Doc checks in. Y'all remember when IBM invented the 8 inch floppy? To load operating or diagnostic instruction sets? Drum memories? CPM?

I had to climb inside some of the first computers I worked on. I guess I'm really dating myself. :yum:

BTW I still have a working IBM PCjr. Complete with two large AC power supply adapters, monitor, the box and keyboard but only two ROM memory cartridges. :unhappy:

A switch in the back switches between IBM PCjr mode and XT mode. I can't remember standard RAM...maybe 4-8K?

And I can't remember to put the carafe in the maker when I turn the switch on. :ohmy:

Ted

Nicahawk · Feb 8, 2008

xPosTech said:
Wait till Doc checks in. Y'all remember when IBM invented the 8 inch floppy? To load operating or diagnostic instruction sets? Drum memories? CPM?

I had to climb inside some of the first computers I worked on. I guess I'm really dating myself.

BTW I still have a working IBM PCjr. Complete with two large AC power supply adapters, monitor, the box and keyboard but only two ROM memory cartridges. A switch in the back switches between IBM PCjr mode and XT mode. I can't remember standard RAM...maybe 4-8K?

And I can't remember to put the carafe in the maker when I turn the switch on.

Ted

I know about the memory part. :nocomment:

I kinda remember the PCjr. I would guess parts/components are pretty hard to find. Weren't the first moon shots controlled by a computer about he size of the old 386's.....

xPosTech · Feb 9, 2008

Nicahawk said:
I know about the memory part. I kinda remember the PCjr. I would guess parts/components are pretty hard to find. Weren't the first moon shots controlled by a computer about he size of the old 386's.....

Yeah physically I guess but with the computing power of today's cellphone.

I think the first replaceable cartridge hard disk had a single 14" metal disk (a platter). One MB. They eventually stacked 11 platters to give 19 R/W surfaces in a cartridge for a drive the size of a washing machine. The other surfaces were for positioning and diagnostics. The last ones I maintained were 600 MB. By that time the 5 1/4" 300-850 MB HDs were coming on line (1992?).

This is from (probably faulty

) memory. I should check the computer museum but it's late and I'm turnin' in. Someone correct me.

Ted

Doc · Feb 9, 2008

Too funny!!!!

Remind me of this one:

Guy calls for computer help and says he bought a new computer and it worked fine the 1st day or two but now nothing. The screen is blank. So they go through the normal checks, are you sure it's turned on? Yes, I leave it on all thte time. Are you sure it's plugged in. Yes I live alone and know it's plugged it. So, the repair tech says, just to be sure I want you to look at the back of your computer and be sure the plug is firmly in the plug in onthe back of the computer. The guy says that's kinda hard to do right now, it's dark in here. The compter guys says dark, why not turn on a ight? The guy says, duh, the power is out. :yum:

The computer repair guy says, okay. Here's what you do. Box up the entire computer and take it back to the store and tell them you are to stupid to own a computer. :yum:

mobilus · Feb 9, 2008

Ted, do you remember what those platters were made from? I sold some off as scrap a couple of years ago, and I might not want to know this answer...but?
Mark

How are your computer skills?

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